Right here i am in the midnight time. My surrounding was all quiet except all the motors noise. I can hear the noise because our house is just roadside.
I cant sleep after lying on my bed for about 1 hour, i cant stop thinking. So i think i should record down what is running in my mind right now at this minute for any purpose.
Just now while watching TV, my dad told me he is going to meet someone from Sg. He said he is going to intro him for me. Asking if i could land a job from him. He asked me to called him when i am in Sg.
Seeing my dad worry about my career is really making me more frustrated.
I can feel he wanted me to have a career in Sg so that i can live in Sg.
I really appreciate my dad's efforts trying to help me. But i am struggling.
One side, i do not want to disappointed my parents. Because they sent me to study in Sg with the hope that i can be living in Sg someday..
Another side in my heart, i understand myself wont stand and work like hell in Sg for things i cant put in my heart doing for my whole life. I do not want this. I have just worked for 6 months. And i have a glimpse of how my future would look like if i continue to be like that and follow the crowd. I wanted to do something that would belongs to me.
If i followed what others hoped in me, which is to find a good pay company and continue to work until retirement age. This is not for ME.
Everyday i keep thinking of quitting my job, i will be scared, i am scared because deep down i understand i am going to let go of my 'secure' income to get back my freedom.
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