Find your MIND, MIND your MIND

Find your MIND, MIND your MIND is the theme for this SIMBB Camp.

three days 2 nites, 13-15 November 2009. If i'm not wrong, two years ago same day and months i was playing CEO Match with my team, Francis, Jez, Anthony, and Dovan.. :)

This year, i join the SIMBB Camp. It was really fun and inspiring at the same time relaxing. Kind of retreat from the stressful worldly world. I went to camp together with Anqi and William after early dinner.

In the camp, we play a lot and learn a lot. There have sing a song session, bowl water session, candle light procession, and five stations games. I become one of the station master in the game of find the correct path. It was located in a container. Haha, that place was comfortable. It was in a air-conditioned room. The fun part is that the participants which already formed into group are asked to find the station before playing the game in the station. Being at a corner in the container, most of the groups having difficulty to find the station. So in the end, Andy have to go and help the team to find our station. The game is this station is a 6x3 box, which is required them to cross the box by finding the correct way of predetermined set of path. I had a lot of fun in serving as station master. Thanks to the committee for preparing all this, and game master Berly prepare the game manual. So basically i jus come and play.

And in the end, i personally like the most is the session we were asked to write a name on a blank paper, then we pass on the paper for the rest of the participants write down their first and last impression bout the person whose name on the paper. and so on the paper pass around until the end pass back to the owner.

There also Dharma session by brother Shi'an (I didnt attend fully) about mindfulness. And by Ven Chuan Guan. Which last Dharma talk about shifting the focus on ourselves to other people. I learn a lot from the Dharma talk.

Well, finally i also get to know some friends in the Camp. They are all interesting people, Her Chuan(Martial Art boy), Desley(Pretty boy), Andrew, Verdy(talk a lot, but dunno how to control)^^, Alan(quiet boy). Then there are Long, and Tommy, too bad didnt have chance to interact more with them. then the rest of the guys, i have know before...

So in short, that camp was great. I enjoy it.. :)

Hope i can join for the third year. :D

Human interaction

It's been long time since my last post. Well, becos lots of thing happen and i don know where should i start. Let's start to report my current situation.

Right now, i alredy accepted the offer of being the merchandiser, and now is applying for S-pass. But the application is still in process. I wonder how long will this take. Hopes this wont take too long to know the result, so that i can move on faster. If approved, i would work hard to learn everything and do my best in performing. But if it is not approved, i really dun know what i am going to do. Becos up until now i'm still confuse which is the way that i'm really keen on. Staying in Sg and try again or Go back Indo for good. :(

Attended Emi's wedding, that was a fun time as that was a rare opportunity for all our frens to gather and meet. However that gather doesnt as fun as i expected. Even though we meet, but it seems there's some distance between us, or mayb only i felt that way. But seeing Emi's wedding reminding us that we all have grown up. Should have really plan for the future of settling down^^.

Last few weeks, i went back to Balai. That was long time since my last return. Well, not much different other than more black out and out of water. I went back, at first nothing to do. But soon i have to help my brother and sis-in-law to take care the shop. It's also good to back and spend some non-stress time in Balai. Spend most of the time at home, shop and Yudi's home :D

Another thing i like is becos i get to eat the food i like there such as Roti prata (martabak), Sate, Aboleng (a kind of glutinous ball), Pempek :)

The only thing i dun like is the black out which make the nite very HOT... unable to sleep :(

The last week, back to Singapore. Finally able to connect to internet unlimited.

So after back to Sg, there are things i do in Sg. Firstly is to participate in SIP BBQ. Then there are some disputes between the 'members'. Is there always have disputes in the interaction of human? Becos not only here, everywhere i go, i see disputes. Some are shown clearly, some are just complaining behind the back. And most of the disputes are caused by the ego of the ppl. The ego that has created the first impression that determined what kind of the opposite party. And then the impression will determined the interpretation of every action that party do.

Not only relation between colleague, but also relation between BGR and family. Son and father, daughter and mother etc.... :( How to calm those ppl down and open their perspective so they can hear clearly what the other party is really saying :(

November really is the full of activities. Other than helping clubs, i also have birthday celebration. Well, luckily not all celebration i have to be there, or i'll be "KANKER".

Happy birthday to Lisa and Luke for last saturday and Sunday. Then yesterday(monday), happy birthday to Anqi. Hee, i was asked to buy present for them. It's really racked my brains to keep thinking what to buy...^^

To be able to knw a person is already not easy. Especially we are from different places and background. And we have know each other and become frens is really an affinity between us. For Amel, Anqi, Jez, Hao, Jy, Andre, Kepah, Hua, Jing Wei, Edmund, Francis, Lik Ming, and many more that i cant write down one by one, i'm really grateful to have you all as my frens. I may not be good at words, and i admit i lack the initiative to find out about you and care bout you, but you all always in my mind. :D

quarrelling with everyone

I had dreaming last nite. In my dream, i quarrel almost with everyone i meet.

At last i quarrel with my brother and my mom.

With my brother, i forgot most part of the quarrel, i only remember i seems to blame myself in the end of our quarrel...

At last i was going out with a female friend, and seen by my aunt, then at home, i was accused for going out with this girlfriend, and asked me to cut off connection with her. And i said we are just normal friend.. and the quarrel started.. i dun really remember the whole content. I was rebelling in the dream. But in the end, i said ' you could have control me once or twice but you could not control me forever' after saying that i wake up... and feel how could i say something like that/...

After waking up, i write down in english, becos in my dream, the whole content is all in hokkien language, Hee...

The last sentence which i think is like a quotation, mayb i had read this somewhere b4.

"You could control me once or twice but you could not control me forever" similarly

"I could be beaten once or twice but i could not be beaten forever" :D

Is this dream reflecting deep inside me is rebelling to something or to reality>><<

SR or SPR ONLY!

I begin to hate seeing this phrase over and over again...

Damn it... :(

Get out of the HIPPO Time

It's been some time since my previous post.

Recently, i had been so relaxed that i become so laid back at home doing nothing since the previous job offers. Although i did send out some resume, but they all one way traffic of going out without coming back.

Then one day, i suddenly felt the momentum to do something, but was at lost, didnt where should i started. Then Jarren called to asked for my time for friday to monday, and said can get $1500. It turn out to be Anthony Robbins's seminar. I went there for the "Unleash the Power Within(UPW)".

The result is positive impact on me. Although i had read his book b4, but i have to say, it's obviously different to listen to his seminar than to just read his book.

And then there's also Jez, managed to get me a work when i was thinking of going back because of my savings was drying. Together with Anqi's for the coordination of my training started my work for the show. I really owe them for this.

Then there are other frens of mine who keeps encourage me either directly or indirectly. Francis, who's been there for me, and always trying to help me even when he is doing his thing. When he was consulting his fren's company, he still thinking of to let the company employ me. To which i really appreciate. And also for the Great Eastern.

Travelling alone

Location : Either in KL or somewhere in Indonesia.. (cos i was asking way in bahasa indo)

People : Ferdian, Suna, One unknown Indo, one Belgium girl.

I had dreamed this morning, i was traveling alone somewhere, and i was taking a bus. While i was asking the way, i met Ferdian and his group. So in the end, we taking the same bus(more like oplet=public transport in Balai).

In the bus, i asked one of Ferdian's fren, i asked where do you come from? Because she is the only foreigner, westerner. She said she is from Belgium. Then i forgot the rest of the conversation.

Then they reach their destination, unknowingly i followed them, and i forget that i have my own way to go. So in the end i join them. After get down from the oplet, we walk some way until reach a beautiful garden. The garden is full of tall purple flowers, as tall as people height. And i saw some bananas trees and others. It was beautiful, :D

After walk in, Ferdian take out his phone, i dunno wat model was that, and start 3G calling, calling Suna. Haha, in the end we met up with Suna, and chat some time till i wake up...

Addicted to game :D

Yeah, finished installed the Dynasty warriors and i'm addicted to this game. The leveling, character, weapon, war horse and many other new things. Whoooo...

Well, i wont be bored for the time being even if i have nothing to do. But in fact, i have many thing to do..

Decision making, shall i take some time to find out what my passion is? Or shall i jus continue the normal city life, working.

If i work, where should i be? D&A, Summit Planners or look for another more appeal to me?

Put aside about finding my passion. Staying in Sg, everyday is so stressful. The expenses are pilling up. I need to make decision soon.

If i'm to work in here, my choices, 1.Stick with D&A 2. Go with Summit. 3. Elsewhere.

1. D&A, exam fees have been waived(paid by D&A), Darren is nice, PEP Training cost, LPR cost subsidized.

2. Summit, just approached by the company, many thing nt clear. All training provided.

3. Look other?

There are other things need to be considered as well. :(

Waah, pusing2.... Hee..

(Written 23 July, but couldnt post due to error in our internet connection.)

The leisure to reflect on my own

Recently the time has move so fast that i jus realise i dun have the leisure to reflect on my own as i did in the past. There are many things going on in my mind. Sometimes i felt overwhelmed. I wanted to share, but nowhere to share... :(

Finally, something happen today where i supposed to go for training, but in the end i skipped the training. I think i need some time to think carefully whether i should still go ahead with the job.

Maybe i was too rush, rushing to take the offer.

Now i need some time to think carefully.................................................

Crying in the dream

Last nite i had many frens in appeared in my dream. I dream there are many people near a harbour( the harbour was very large). And i mean really many people, there are people i know and people i dun know. As i remember some ppl beside me were Hery (SMP best buddy), Wilykani, and some secondary sch frens.

There is a HUGE Ship, and i saw many ppl on board the ship. The ship was preparing to leave somewhere, i dun knw where is it. All people around me know who they are sending, only i alone dun know why i'm there for. We waved to those ppl who leave on the HUGE ship. We all crying. Hery said he sending his sister, but as i knw he dun have sister..

I also crying, but i dun knw why i'm crying. And suddenly i felt lost, have nothing, have no direction, i'm just following the crowd.

When the ship has sailed, we turn back and hop on a huge 'becak'. As the becak move, i saw lots of people sitting somewhere with a huge umbrella above them. They are watching TV in front. And the 'becak' we are on is riding passing they sight, and the 'becak' keep riding until i wake up.

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My own thinking is, i saw frens, ships, harbour, becak, people.

I interpret this might imply if i continue to move following the crowd, i might lost 'frenship'.

Current plan

Currently, we are going to apply for this LPR. However, this LPR is going to take 2-4 months for them to approve. But some cases might be drag till one year or some might be unsuccessful. Nt sure for wat the reason.

In the meantime, i will have to study and pass the HI exam. And i need to earn income in order to survive this waiting period of LPR. Now the trouble is they required us to submit our transcript, but wat can i show when my result only come out at early sept or end of August. ><"

I changed???

As the time goes by, people do change, whether good or bad, ppl change. It could be growing or it could be declining, physically or mentally. And now i feel i have some changes. I don't know exactly what is it. But it is happening.

Some mayb be caused by the more responsibility i felt after assuming i'm graduating. As i'll be no longer be a student, i'll have to earn a living for myself, for family and for my future own family. For that i need to be more mature.

But i'm having some stress. I refer this as 'Surviving stress'. Sg is a costly city to stay. As i assume i'm going to graduate, i should have begin to stop relying on my dad's financial support. As the days going on, and i'm still unemployed. Every dollars and cents spend become more significant to me.

Stress.. uuuh....

Ah, As i write, i forgot wat i initially wanted to write... ><"

Another thing, for someone, thank you. but i'm sorry. i'm nt really ready yet...

CLICK (3rd)

Wow, just finish watching this "Click". This is the third time watching, and still feel 'gan dong'. :D

Mayb everyone watching the movie will get different interpretation or they may jus watch for fun. I still get inspired by the movie. This make me more cherish the time that being together with my family, my frens, the ppl who are important to me... the moments in my life...

感动天感动地 - 宇桐非

一开始我以为爱本来会很容易

所以没有经过允许就把你放心底

直到后来有一天你和他走在一起

我才发现原来爱情不是真心就可以

我感动天感动地怎么感动不了你

明明知道没有结局却还死心塌地

我感动天感动地怎么感动不了你

总相信爱情会有奇迹都是我骗自己

以为自己不再去想你
保持不被刺痛的距离
就算早已忘了我自己
却还想要知道你的消息

Nice song

8 Secrets of success

Intro to me by Edmund when he came my home, Richard St John's 8 Secrets of Success.

Wanted to post something bout this month ago..

Richard St.John's 8 Secrets of Success:

1. Passion -> Do it for LOVE, not MONEY

2. Work -> Have fun

3. Good -> to be successful put ur nose down in something and get damn good at it.

Practice, practice, practice

4. Focus -> Focusing urself in one thing.

5. Push -> Push urself physically, mentally

6. Serve -> Serve others something of value

7. Ideas -> Listen, Observe, Be curious, Ask questions, Problem solve, make connection.

8. Persist -> Number 1 reason of our success. Persist to failure.

Persist to:

• Persist to Criticism
• Persist to Rejection
• Persist to Assholes
• Persist to Pressure

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes ppl dun need new information, ppl jus need to be reminded.

Time no enough

These 2 days, having whole day tutorials, from 9-9.30. It's 9am-9.30pm!

But the learning process is really fun.

I have got to learn many more things, such as medical, Singapore CPF schemes, and hospital structure etc... Wow...

I feel that i'm more happier when i fully stay at the 'present' moment.. I enjoy the moment more. I laugh more. It's really easier said than done. It's hard to keep my mind to not to worry. As no matter what, there jus many things happen, many need my attention.. =)

So wat i learn is that being present and enjoy the moment, will make me happier.. Mayb for the moment. I'm not saying that planning is not good. Jus that spend more time on the present might be better... :) 

Having 2 dreams in 1 nite

Waking up early becos of dreaming. Having 2 dreams last nite. 

One is Tsunami and one is someone threaten to kill my frens and family.

I was in a school, definitely not in SIM as the school was so big and spacious. At there, many classmates were chatting around. Then suddenly we felt there is a sound and the ground was shaking.. At the moment, only i felt that it's tsunami coming, and ask every1 to hold on to something, but not many ppl hearing me. So in the end only Lif and i hold on the steel pool. But the water was so much that it covers the whole area and we were in the waters and there's no way out for us... suddenly the dream jump to another scene, or mayb i forgot the rest of the story.

Next i come into a house where there's this strong guy who can tear ppl like tear paper. He holds my frens and my family as hostage. Threaten to kill them if i dun agree to do something for him.. I forgot wat should i do to save them..... and then wake up! Haaah... no ending... ~~

2 Days till the final paper of the final exam

Recently was playing hard and studying hard.. But i found the subject guide is becoming heavier everytime i hold it.. :(

2 more days and it will be end.. :)

The tricky is after exam, my schedule is packed with tutorial, training, and exam(Oh NO, again!) for my coming job. But i actually want some holiday b4 really start working... sighs...

Now i'm confused whether i'm ready for the job, as i will be an Estate Planner for Rockwills. Sometimes i'm thinking if i should jus do fixed salary job.. hm... !@#$%^&^%$#@)(*&^

And recently my eyesight seems to giving me trouble, i cant see ppl face in some distance, which i could see clearly in the past.. Sometimes i cant read clearly words in books and computer. :(

Funny dream

Wow, this morning the breeze is so cool :)

So nice to be in bed.. "P

Haha, again, wanna write down what i have dreamed while i still remember, partly.

The whole dream happen as if i'm another person, in the media world, as a reporter or artist or something.

Am i so desperate to get a gf that in my dream, i got a gf, at initial stage, and it was staged by my frens so i can get her. But, interestingly, she seems to be an Tw artist, but i dunno her name. And after the courting, then a group of us come out from a pub, then we saw a drunk guy lying on the floor, and a crowd of reporters was 'clicking' their cameras... And this one i know, the guy name is "Guo Jing An'', the one that starred as "A Wang" lol

The dream was quite long, but i remember most only those parts...

I was thinking, is it mayb that when we sleep, we as an individual actually living as another person in another dimension of world that consciously we dun know. And that dimension of world is exactly the same as our world. 

Or that we, all livings, are actually come from one source that under certain condition we can feel, see, taste what the other living is experiencing... wow, just imagine the whole universe that actually come from a source of force/power/energy. Then spread out to become everything that we see now. We see the form of the things which is actually just empty.... Hmm,... 

Anyway, today 3rd June, still 9 days to go.. ><"

Some of my frens going back today, hope they enjoy their holiday :)

Fate and human action

For the one that put hope in me and for the one that i put my hope in..

For some reason, sometimes something just doesn't work out....

I believe that fate has brought us together to let us know each other. We become fren, become close. U share with me about u, and i share mine. We talk as if we have lots to talk. The one put hope in me, U hope we can become more than just fren, but i'm ready to accept. The one i put my hope in, i hope we can be more than just fren, but u nt wanted it. 

Maybe it's just the fate hasn't reach the stage, or the human action is not enough, or something else.. I believe maybe the time just haven come...

For the one that put hope in me, i hope u can give up; for the one that i put my hope in, u hope i can give up. Is this just a funny cycle by fate///

I told myself that life still going on, it's all rite. 看破放下随缘, i may did. But there is still have impact on my life... i know that...

Suddenly wanted to write these down.. to make me feel better. 

I and Me

I learned something about "I and Me" theory in Sociology. Basically, mean the I is different from Me. 

In here, the application of the theory might somehow a bit different from the original.

Few days ago, when have a chat with Francis, he mentioned about this "I and Me". 

well, just to described how the society has shaped us to become wat we are rite now.

And i told him that i have alienated from my true self.

While people around me would see Me as a people person who can talk easily with people. But  I see myself, i'm an introvert person who cant communicate well with other people.

In my true self, i might not that like of being centre of attention, and interact with people, but because of the need of the environment that has shaped me into how i'm now.

Hmm, there are many more example to show. It's just showing that how the individual can alienated from the true self because of the forces of society/environment. The expectation of the environment can cause the behavior of the individual become a different person from him/herself.

YES MAN

Watched "YES Man" by Jim Carrey, i even watched 3 times in 2 days during studying for horror subjects of MA and FR. 

After watched the movie, really inspired by the moral behind the story, the way i interpreted. 

I would missed something call 'life' if i keep living my live worrying bout this and that, afraid of failing so that i never try. Not confidence that i can conquer myself so i wont try. Not confidence i can learn more thing therefore stop trying. Dun believe i have music sense therefore never touch music... I wonder how other ppl felt after watched this movie.

After watched the movie, i become inspired to live my life to fullest. Not that i would accept every opportunity by saying YES to everything that come. But i would be more open to challenges. 

I should learn many things so that my life would be so colorful and enjoyable...

Even thought, i dun how long will this feeling last, but at this moment i would like to write down wat i want to learn. There are many.. List:

• Guitar
• Korean
• Japanese
• Cantonese
• Piano
• Dance
• Photo-edit
• Sing
• etc
  

I want to go:

• Taiwan (Taipei)
• Bali
• Japan (Tokyo, Hokkaido, Kyoto)
• Korea (dun knw yet)
  
• Shang Hai
• Hong Kong
• Australia

I want:

• Bookshelf
• Digital camera
• Driving license
• Bring my parents to Taiwan
• New laptop
• New handphone
• Traveling

Wow, i have listed lots of materialistic 'wants'...

Haha... i want to achieve all of these...

Yesterday, Jarren told me an old guy still learning despite being 60 years old, and he is enjoying his life! Jarren and I want to live life! :P

看破放下自在随缘清净

最近很烦，应为某些是不顺利。。 但人生总会有烦恼，所以也无所谓啦。。开心就好。。。

我的某位好友，最近为他的感情的事在烦。。。所以有时就出来聊聊。。 他并不是那种每天都很诚心拜佛的人吧。。。 但却梦见遇到一位法师/和尚指点。。。空悲歉 。。。觉得有点不可思议吧。。。

看破放下自在随缘清净，并不容易真的做到。。。 ：） 有点觉得在论佛

 
察看之后，原来是：看破、放下、自在、随缘、念佛，真诚、清净、平等、正觉、慈悲;

1.看破：看破世间虚妄相，明了世事不久常， 缘聚缘散无所得，轮回受命苦难当。 2.放下：放下名闻与利养，舍弃我执欲妄想， 万般皆空不可得，因果随身并不爽。 3.自在：自在如仙在世上，无欲无求道心强， 时时知足无忧恼，法喜充满智增长。 4.随缘：随缘修持去旧殃，莫把是非挂心上， 善恶恩怨一场梦，高低美丑无异样。 5.念佛：念佛摄心伏妄想，降伏烦恼心明亮， 一句弥陀念到底，自达圣地寿无量。 6.真诚：真诚念佛莫彷徨，一心一意回家乡， 不忘家亲众情苦，知恩报恩救迷茫。 7.清净：清净无为生实相，净念得生极乐邦， 千江有水千江月，心离尘垢自芳香。 8.平等：平等用心无杂想，苦海无崖起波浪， 众生与佛本同体，转迷为悟永真常。 9.正觉：正觉性海法无量，真心无碍通十方， 虚空法界无边界，划界自困慧易亡。 10.慈悲：慈悲喜舍伏迷浪，法界处处放祥光， 弥陀愿海归舟渡，回头有岸是家乡。

Quotes of the day

I may have failed, but i'm not beaten..

I may have fallen, but i'm not lying dead...

I may seems lagging, but i'm resting...

As resting is for longer journey... 

Do not give up so easily, tough times wont last but tough guy do!

Mesin Waktu

Wah, ari ni bener2 bnyk pemikiran siah...

Selain mikirin exam, reply dari msg, dan masa lalu..

Swaktu makan siang ama Jem, Amin, Herman, tanpa sadar kita mulai ngomong tentang masa SMA. Ttg para guru yg sebagian uda tdk ada di SMA STY skrg dan bagaimana tingkah laku yg skrg liat akan terasa lucu... Gmn kita kerjain guru kita dsbnya...

Haha, walao ari ni bnyk percakapan ttg 3 IPA, tp gw tetap bisa mengenang ttg 3  IPS 1 dlm dunia pikiran..

Kadang merasa bnyk skali yg ga sempat gw kerjakan sewaktu SMA, merasa waktu bnyk terbuang karna bnyk hal yg tidak gw lakukan... Waktu yg seharusnya bersama tdk digunakan baek2 hingga skrg msh ada rasa sesal... Andaikan ada mesin waktu yg bisa membawa gw kembali ke masa lalu dan kembali badan fisik gw kembali pada saat itu... 

Namun klu bener2 kembali ke masa lalu, smua yg skrg ini akan berubah, smua yg skrg merupakan teman mgkn bkn teman lgi... dan gw mgkn tidak mao begitu..

Sehingga konklusinya adalah, walau apapun kesesalan kita di masa lalu, jgnlah memikirkan untuk mengulang dan mengubahnya, karna itu telah menjadi sejarah dari hidup kita. Kelebihan memikirkan masa lalu akan memakan waktu kita untuk menciptakan masa depan yg lebih menyenangkan.. Tapi bljrlah dari sejarah hidup kita sendiri, dan pastikan kesalahan kita yg dulu tidak terulang lgi.. Sebab hidup tidak bisa diulang!

SP 2009 School of Design and School of Electrical and Electronic Engineering Graduation

Everytime attending/seeing people graduates, there would be unexplainable feeling within me..

Today, i attending the graduation ceremony of my good fren, Jemmy. Graduated from Singapore Polytechnic today! =)

Didn't get to sleep well these few days since send a msg through restaurant city(fb appli) to someone. Finally today get an answer, even though the answer is not what i want, at least it is an answer. Before getting the reply was torturing to me as i'll keep guessing what would the result be. My heart was like floating around, which was very nervous and worry at the same time. 

Today is the last paper for accounting and finance 3rd year frens. Was wishing my frens can do it well. I hope my wishing come true. 

All rite, back to the graduation ceremony, as always, INSPIRING. 

When we reach SP, as usual, photoes taking :) (The pics shall be in FB soon).

Then when it's time to receive the cert, it was actually only allowed Jem's parents and sister, but in the end my frens and i managed to get inside. In there, aside being feeling cold and hungry, i was very inspired by those achievers. One of the guy, name 'Kuriakin' that was doing extremely well, getting GPA of 4, and 8 awards. When he was summoned to get his awards, he stand the longest time. Well, what really inspired me was some speech by the people there, and this Kuriakin. Because he also come from nearby Singapore, Tg. Pinang. From what i knw from my frens, he was also a President of Guitar clubs, he has many frens and he was also active in community service, and he also have part time work. 

This make me feel ashamed, we all come Singapore to study but he could achieve those yet i didnt manage to get anything that i can make my parents proud of me... :(

I was hoping if i can know this guy, earlier before today if possible, mayb could really inspire me to have motivation to achieve something during my school life in Singapore...

Well, attending their graduation ceremony make me looking forwards to my graduation ceremony, which could be next April if nothing goes wrong.. 

For that, i want to buy a digital camera if i pass all subjects.. :P

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=81234&id=577383261&ref=mf

Happy dumpling day!

Today is dumpling day. Normally few days before my brothers, sister and i would help mother to make dumplings. I love the dumplings. Normally we just have dumplings as breakfast, lunch and dinner.. Mom know that i'm picky in eating, she would make more than 1 kind of flavours.

However, this coming 2 years, i wont be able to eat that kind of dumplings again. She said it is becos my grandpa jus passed away. So this 2 years we wont make dumplings. And becos i'm not going back. 

After the exam, i would have finish my study life, provided i pass all papers.

And i'll go into another stage of life, working. I wonder how i'll perform in this stage of life.. ~~"

28 May 2009

Today is where most of my frens finish their exam with Audit. Hope they all doing all rite.

So after today, i might feel lonely.

After taking MA and FR exam, temporary feeling release yet feeling blank, and lost.. 

I still have Strategy to go. I wanted to study, but keep jus empty reading, nothing goes into the mind... My mind is not in the exam huh... ><"

Waking up afraid..

Uuuuh, tomorrow is the day. 26 May 2009, MA exam. 27 FR.

Most of my frens are from Accounting and Finance, so they have to take MA,FR and Audit this year on 26,27, and 28 May. I wonder why the exam date for this year is so challenging.

And there are no less people also taking 2 exams in one day. 

I'm going to have exam on 26 and 27 May.

I was waking up this morning with feeling of scared... I cant imagine for those taking 3 continuously and taking 2 subjects in one day.

Some ppl said, u would afraid becos u are nt ready. Well, partly is true...

I'm afraid now. Afraid i would fail. Afraid that i cant fulfill my parents expectation. Cant fulfill what i have plan and set on to do... and if i fail, hw am i going to face the news that i already have a job waiting for me...

At the same time, i'm afraid that if i were to pass all, that i'm going into a different pathway of life from my frens, i would lose my frens....

There is this girl, whom i like for some time. Never really have any chance to know her better until recently. Really happy being with her in this short period of time. 

Hmm, after write out how i felt, it sure feel better,....

Continue to prepare for exam....

The RAPE of Nanking

I have actually read something about this history b4. And last nite, i watch a video and something relate to the author of the book. Then i knw the author had died.

What the book has written is a history that was almost forgotten from the world and never been teach in the textbook. 

From When i read bout this history, even i might not felt as deeply as the author, even i'm not born in China, i felt something, something like anger, but yet not hatred. 

From history we can see that times never stop, in good times or bad times. It will all passed.

And we can see that life is fragile..

Well, when we actually look back into history, we can always find that our lives now is so much fortune even not perfect yet.

In the past, when human rights haven been promoted, many of inequality happened. But no one has even stand up and say something.

In today, at least more and more people knw that what is human rights. Even inequality still happen...

In today, where we become too peaceful and comfort, we take living for granted that we forget we need to struggle to live. Some people are struggle to survive...

In today, we live with so many support equipment(electronic devices) that we become so lazy.. and forget how the people in the past has lived without them.. 

What i'm trying to say here is not that we should live with a struggling attitude, but we should always remember, life is not simple..

What i'm trying to say here is not that we should throw away all the things we have, but we should be grateful that we can live in today where live my be abundant yet most of the time we take it for granted...

What i'm trying to say is, we should not forget what the history is trying to teach us,.. do not repeat cruel history... one person, one idea, can start a war or end it..

Think big, dun limit and compromise our idea and Vision 

As what we can achieve is as big as our idea and our Vision!

Sharing ideas

Well, all the plans would be nothing if no actions taken.

Today was planning to stay at home and have light revision on MSM. But end up spending the whole day in front of computer.

Hmm, nt the whole day actually. Just nw, April come back with Rinto.

Had some chat with both of them b4 Rinto fall asleep. 

Both of them has come to Sg since 7-7 if i'm nt wrong, so it's almost 4 years since then,.

Talking bout this now might feel that i'm keep thinking about the past. But it's from the past that we reflect how we end up today and where are we going tomorrow.

April has just graduated from NYP, and currently working with a company working for NAVY.

Although he is working, same as me, he is not going to jus walk in the convention way of life which is to work until pension. We were sharing idea bout many things and thinks. He wanted to learn some more about investing, so he was asking about wat we know bout FOREX. 

we also share many ideas bout planting. and his father's working bout 'organic detergent'. 

Spend some time with frens can be great. Although today was jus small chit-chatting, it's good to hear and to be heard.

I miss home

I remember when i first come Sg for study, some people ask me if i would miss home. At that time, my answer was NO, i wont. Well, i remember when i answer that i was thinking, come on, i'm a guy, nt a gal, dun ask me this kind of question. 

Rite now, well, i have to admit, i do miss my home, my parents, my brothers, my sister, and now my nephews :)

Sometimes, it's our bad habit to hide our feelings. I donno, mayb unconsciously i was thinking, if i show my feeling, i show my weaknesses. I'm weak. or i'm just to shy. But as time goes by, i realise that i'm also just human. I have feelings, i have emotions. No need to hide all these. 

Just now, a moment b4 calling home, i cried. Do not what i was i feeling, but i jus cry. Mayb becos of the stress of the exam, or mayb missing my home, or too tired, or just feeling relax..

After crying, i feel a relief, and just take a bath b4 calling home. 

><"

Happy mother's day

Normally the whole family would gather and have dinner. This year dinner would have grandma join us as well. But this year i'm nt able to go back and join for the dinner. Feel bad for nt going back and stay with for today and make her happy. 

Mom, thank you for being such a caring and loving mother for me, and us.

Hope u will always be blessed with long life and healthy!

Even thought i never say to u directly, i would like to let u knw that i love u, mom. 

Sometimes when u call me, i may get irritated and anyhow replying u. But u would patiently and ask me how was the day and all the things. Trying to understand me, and share with me about wat is happening in home. This make me felt that i still being cared. 

I wish for now is to quickly earn enough, and bring u and dad to Taiwan for some holiday. As u always staying at home to take care of the home and us. 

妈， 很抱歉今年没回去陪您过，

但相对您说：辛苦您了，从小照顾我们兄弟。

祝您母亲节快乐，身体健康 ：）

People we care

This feeling can be quite miserable when we see people we care are suffering either mentally or physically yet we cant do many thing to lessen their burden...

Some people said, many choices would lead to confusion in choosing, and yet we might need choices to really know if we have choose the right one. 

Becos of previous experience, rite now, i'm hesitant to make my move becos keep thinking, is she the one that i'm looking for? Is she the one that i'm waiting for? ><''

Omg, wat should i do to enter your world and be a part of your world.

STRESSS

Stress is all i can think of to describe how i am for this whole time...

Some of the times, there will be moment that i dun feel like to bother everything and keep playing games. Like dun reply sms, or dun accept calling... and more serious will be dun like to talk at all even the person calling me. 

Today happen again, i was planning to go to sch for studying,. but end up staying in front of the computer for the whole day..

Well, even though i cant really take up the notes and revise, i did able to pick up my books and read.. Recently i read a book 'S.U.M.O."(Shut Up, Move On). This is really take me into a deep thinking and reflection.

The shut up part, i may have no problem. But I need something or someone that can motivate me to move on. I cant move on without a target. I might be saying clearing all the papers would be my priority target at the moment. But i cant feel the urgency yet. It's as if i feel this is not really important in the big picture. I miss out something which is more important for me, mayb in a bigger perspective, a thing that can make me feel more complete in life. 

What do i lack now? A purpose of life? A soulmate who can really understand me and ready to lemme understand her? A passion that i would do even for free>

Chatting with DC jus nw, recall back how i felt toward 2 persons, AST and LMY. 

I felt guilty to AST 

and , regret to LMY.

---------------------------------------------------------------

As for now, i'm sorry for my frens who are trying to contact me during these period where i'm might in this state, i would ignore you...

_____________________________________

Move on ---- Study ><"

Hey, why you nver consider her as your girlfren?

Suddenly being asked, "Hey, why you never consider her as your gf?" Shock man, i nver think of this before.
Yeah, i hav to admit. she is attractive and nice.
Well, after thinking for a while, i think i just not ready to change my current lifestyle yet. Maybe.
And of there is other factors consideration also...

the main thing is to make the main thing the main thing

Tired, is the word that in my mind currently. Facing the coming soon UOL Final Exam has making me stressed out. Furthermore instead of  take up a notes and study for the subject, i still facing the laptop and playing around. 

At this current exhausted mentally, i wanted to go back for a short rest. Get back into shape and continue to study better.

As this is already my final year, the confusing question now in my mind is what is next after graduate. Find a job? Start the career? 

Confusing, now becos lack of study, i have begin also to worry bout whether i can pass this exam. 

"The main thing is to make the main thing the main thing"

April Mob

Yesterday was 1 April. The first prank i receive is from Jez, calling at midnight telling me she was going to discontinue her UOL study and going to Ausie. 

Although i got few ppl try to trick me and i reminded myself not to believe so easily, but in the end, still get tricked by Yunita..  and believe it. Are the people now so good with lie?^^ hh

Another year has come and go. 2 April,Aah, happy birthday for Meiyi, one of the day that i remember the most..

So now count back, how many years have passed, and i do not really changed much. Still immature as back then. 

It's say that time passed is passed, no way of getting back. 

It is only we lost something that we learn to treasure it. And here now i'm still taking the regret from the past. Even it is impossible, i hav a little wish that time can go back to the past so i wont do things that i would regret until now.. 

NATO

I have become a NATO!!!

No Action, Talk Only. 

I recently realise i'm already a NATO person. Which is all talk, no action.

For so long i have been like that.  I have to admit that i really not a born leader. So sometimes lack the proactive to take action towards wat i think i should be doing. 

But as i'm on my journey to develop my character and traits, it's good that i realised i'm a NATO person so that i can begin to start from small to change this habit. 

So for this, i hav list down my to do list into small parts to be able to completed one at a time. 

Slowly but sure to develop the confidence and tempo to become an proactive person. 

:)

All the best.

World War or Alien invasion?

Today is a hot day. I was woken up by the sound of the construction down there..

While i didnt really hav a sound sleep, i had an interesting dream..

When i realised, i was in a building looking around. And then suddenly looking out the glasses and saw many incoming missiles, but was hold back by the building. So we who are in the building was safe as the missiles cant get into the building and blasted us.. I was so near the glasses that i can see the missiles with red color head and white rear stopped at the glasses. But i heard some explosion, then turn back, and see other places, i saw the other building which is not as high as the one i were in, all were explode by the missiles.. Then i remember, in those small small house, have something important, but i don't know what's that...

So after all the explosion, suddenly i feel like being knocked off by someone..

Then when i regain consious, i was with Jarren in somewhere like "space" in the movie.. The sky was all black, and we were tie in hand, and sitting  on white landscape..

The strange thing is, i jus cant see where the guards are. There are no ppl guarding us and we are just being tied there. So Jarren and I decided to run, so we release the tie and run. But then the guard appear, so we run. We run until there's no more way to run, and see the deep black valley. And we decided to jump to the other side. But when we jump, our body feel very light and it was actually flying to the other side, even though we jump too hard and knock at the side wall... 

After jump to the other side, i was thinking "where is this? Is this in space?" Then i heard a lot of noise and woken up... 

In the dream, when i saw the building down there exploded, inside the building also have many things that "my fren(in the dream)" had buy with lots of money. But it all gone within second. So it's not really belong to him. It jus temporary belong to him. 

At that moment, I was feeling, nothing more important than life. Even though we have all the money in the world, if the world is not working with order, the money would be useless. In that emergency event in my dream, i cant think anything other than survive... So life is the most important. 

Well, when i woke up, i jus had that feeling. But at the same time, was afraid, if there is really war, would i be so brave like in my dream? I doubt so. I'm jus a civilian. If there happen, i cant fight at all. So i might be afraid of dying..

Staying in Singapore and Look for job? Or Go back and start up business??

Now already in the end of March, less than 60 days and i'm going into UOL Main exam. 

After the main exam, i'm going to graduate, provided passing all subjects. 

I think most of people might have same situation as me.

Right now, i'm confusing about whether to stay in Singapore or go back Indo.

There are many factors that i need to consider. 

The very first is that the money that my parent has spend in me to study here and the time i have used. I know that each people has their own opinion and thinking. 

I have heard, it's not worth it to go back indo to work as Rupiah is so much weaker than SG$, it's better to stay and work in Singapore. 

Well, i beg to differ. Even though Sg is an multi-cultured country where this is a big opportunity as a start towards global opportunity. But this has to happen when everything has started, when i really hav started my opportunity here. It might be difficult if i had to work for someone here.

What i'm worry most is that i might get stuck after working in Singapore. 

I'm not a natural leader. I have more tendencies to follow to status quo. So i'm worry i might not be able to change after i hav work here, even i'm dissatisfied with the situation i'm going to be on. I'm worrying that i'll be ordinary Singapore man here, working 9-5, spending on credit card, and living in credit. After being in debt, start to save and become Mr.kiasu.

And i dun like being overly controlled. I'll gone crazy if everything i do is being controlled. 

And this feeling of being controlled by the environment is growing stronger as my age is growing. And being here, i feel like in a place of control freak. Everything must by Black and white. 

My thinking is , when a country is overly control over its citizen, its citizen will get dumber and dumber. When a country is overly protection over its citizen, its citizen will get lazier and lazier.

It's just like, everything has been prepared, so i jus accept it. In the long run, the mind will go lazy and accept most of things that is thrown into them. 

All of above is jus personal opinion, i hope do not upset or feel offended.

Cheers

Erroneous reporting from the Media led to misconception to the deceased

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=67918696061&h=YF4rZ&u=52w_-

http://singaporecitizen.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/shameless-st-sinks-to-all-time-low/

http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/03/toc-developing-story-fleshing-out-the-ntu-stabbing-incident/

http://justlimz.blogspot.com/2009/03/david-case-high-profile-crime-not.html

I remember a few weeks ago, my mom called as usual asking me not to play too much computer game. And she was talking bout a news bout a student suicide after playing too much computer game.

Well, i tot she was jus over react to the news. And few days later she called me and asked me not to do something rashly or have any dispute with anybody. I was confused about what happen.

So i only answer, ya ya ya, i got it. Dun worry, i'm not having any dispute with anybody..

But only after a few days, i realize the news about NTU-Stabbing Case. Well, initially i was led by curiosity because name in the news same as me David. So i took some notice to this news.

Then i realize my mom had watch that news and mayb she was worrying that i would get too stressed and do something stupid..

Well, so after that i began to keep on about this news.

Up until recently i join this group in FB, "For the truth behind the NTU Stabbing Incident", and i read, read and read.

And this led me to know that this is not so simple as reported by the media.

And i'm getting pissed off because of the until now, most of my frens, and my family still under impression that David is jus such a person as reported by the media when the SPF have not even announce any information/conclusion regarding the case.

This is unfair. And so on, i found some other links that led to more and more doubts about the media.

Is the media really reporting the truth or made for a living??

source from info@ideamappingsuccess.com

Smoga smua makhluk hidup bahagia

Smua yg ada di dunia ini adalah tidak kekal. 

Dengan ini, smoga kakekku yg meninggal bisa terlahir kembali dengan smua karma yg telah diperbuat dan diterima.

Smoga smua makhluk hidup berbahagia.

Sadhu 

May you and your family be blessed with happiness and blessings

This year birthday is very meaningful and very happy.

I receive a lots of birthday greetings and wishing via Calling, SMS, Comments (FS n FB). 

My way of gratitude is by replying their greeting and wishing with wishing may they and their family be blessed with happiness and blessings. :) 

Jez, Rinto, J3y, Anqi, Herman, Andre, Marissa, Suna, Benyamin... laid the ambush..

Amelia, Novelia, Defie, and Jarren (Pearl, Luke, and Ninja) called in the midnite, after 12am.

There are also Lik Ming and Yunita who called..

Then there were others who by SMS and leave comments..

I'm so blessed to have these lots of frens..

Thank Q all...

祝我生日快乐 10 Jan 1987

Happy birthday to me..

10 Jan 12am+, was ambushed by Jez, dkk in my home. I was startled by them when i reached home..

Haha, i was stunned by 3 secs b4 react. I didnt expect becos we were watching red cliffs b4 heading homes. I was thinking this 22 b'day would be just simple hang out with frens, then back home do FR n MA..

But they did suprised me. The light was off, then i heard "pop" "pop" then comes a cake with a songs.. Pics will be posted at later date.. 

Well, even though i had been pressured by MA n FR for past few weeks, last two days were very happy.. 

Thank Q, everyone for preparing and the time spent together with me..

I was very very happy these two days.. :)

Even if this will be the last time, our frenship would always last, i shall always remember the day.. the day you guys did for me.. :)

May you and your family be blessed with Happiness and Great Health

PS:more pics coming up..

Dvd