The most easy way

The most easy way to make a man cry is to touch his heart...
Either break it, or hold it!

29 April 2007

Celest, one of the achiever in the RAN, a young lady

Today, 29 April 2007

From yesterday until now i only hav taken rest less than 3 hours..

Just now, went to CCK, to meet Yunita, after that meet Lili Ariesta, after that went to CCK stokist, then visit my grandaunt.
After that, walk to LOT 1.. Haih, remind me when i just come to Sg...

In LOt 1, i go to popular to buy some stuff to do my "vision board" + planning board..

haha... finally i begin again taking action... have been stuck past week...

Huh, always feel a lot to do..

With the board finish, i hope i can be more organizer to do things...

haha, then i can arrange time more effectively...

Ok, a day pass again...

Oh, GOSH

Hahaha, i didnt sleep for the whole night...
Wah, last nite i went to Downtown east for dinner with bout 800 more ppls...
In our table, i'm with Robinson, Limin Hartono, Sylvia, Garry, and some ppl(sorry i forgot your names)
Haha, i'll post the pics when i receive them...

Wau, so fresh... i laugh almost the whole nite...
It's been a while since i really laugh like that... so crazy..
Last nite we play cards, and bbq, and chat, and guess3...
so pity that Chris and Sylvia didnt stay... -_-'''

The most funny when we play the "mouth and finger NOT The same"...
walao, i keep make mistake, and i got many times punishment, and wei jie( if not wrong) also kena many times... hahaha...
then the killer, detective, and doctor,, haha, the most funny part when Thomass be a doctor to save himself, he shout it out, where it supposed to keep silent so that the killer wont know...
Hahaha., so pity i didnt take pics... HAhaha funny lol

Wonder when get to play so crazy again.. haha

I hav a lots of thing to be grateful

Oh, i hav just listed down a lots of things that i can be grateful for i'm here now..
However, i'll list down some of them first in this post..

I'm grateful that i hav a healthy body which not everyone can have it
I'm grateful that i can hav a complete body where not everyone as lucky as me..
I'm grateful to hav my parents who are so caring bout me and raising me..
I'm grateful to have my brothers who are so caring
I'm grateful to have my friends now who had been helping me up until now...
I'm grateful to be able to speak... to communicate...
I'm grateful to have a laptop so can help me in my life
I'm grateful to be able to enjoy my life now...
I'm grateful to be able to eat food...
I'm grateful to be able to have my dreams, my goals
I'm grateful to be able to do what i want..
I'm grateful to be able tp know wat i hav know now..
I'm grateful to hava a pairs of eyes to see the beauty of the world
I'm grateful to have a pair of nose to smell the smell
I'm grateful to have a mouth to speak, to eat the food
I'm grateful to have a healthy mind to think
I'm grateful to have a pair of hand to do what i need to do..
I'm grateful to have a pair of legs to let me walk...
I'm grateful i can be myself now..
I'm grateful i have learn to be grateful..
I'm grateful i'm ALIVE!!

David

Excuse me^^

Hehe... Excuse me, if really think i'm money minded, i'm sorry, u dun truly understand me yet..
Dun judge ppl by wat is seen when u nver try to understand what it is!!
And i'm not a person like to explain!! Sorry

Realize

I just realize, nothing is change..
Just becos of one person, affected how i view the world. that's why seems so troubled..
Hahaha... so stupid of me to keep like this,.. the world keep goin round, not waiting.. so i still have to move on... AYO!!

Thanks for Yunita

Woh, almost forgot... thanks to Yunita.. came and find me when i felt the most loneliness..
For whatever reason u came, i still wanna thank you.. If u didnt come yesterday, i might think more negative way.. pull me back when i'm at the peak of sad side...
Now, after reach the peak of bad thing, the good gonna come..
OK!! again, thanks to Hao and Jez, i know u also care...

Hard to explain

Huh, just wake up.. today is 1st day i sleep fully 8 hours...
last nite after back from skul(not finish) directly went to bed...
Yesterday was full of confusion....
I wake up at 6am... blank blank till 8am.. then go to harbour front.. to fetch my dad...
Haih, still hang in my mind whether i should continue or not...
today i hav to make decision.. no compromise... s***

Now the song "hurt" hanging in my mind.. Hurt, Baby why would u hurt me so long..
It was a hurt feeling... when u talk a joke with a person( a person u care), but that person walk away and laugh with another person(ur best fren) and left u alone.. plus again say something hurtful, even if that person is not intentionally la..
Hoh, feel so heavy, feel wanna skip class again.. why... these two days been feeling so down..
Hurt + Confusion = SAD + Depression, make me didnt do anything

haha, but impossible for me to stay in this state too long...


Ok la, better watch DVD(the Secret)..(ops forgot i still got JEz job haven done..)

Some gals are just really cunning..

Wuih, there are just some gals are really so cunning...
trying to make use of ppl especially guys... Guys, better be careful with such gals..
These gals think they can make use of guys becos of their beauty...
Lemme tell u this, YOU ARE WRONG!! Not every GUY is a FOOL!!

Huh, i'm so dissapointed.. As coming from the same birthplace, i'm so dissapointed of u...
Furthermore use lying... I HATE LIES!!! I HATE MOST, LIES!!!
Once u lies, my trust to u will be totally crush.. (for anyone else also).

If u really want it, can just directly tell me, how can u use others ppl name..
If u use yourself as reason, even if i reject u, at least i'll still respect u as a fren..

however If i didnt call that person u use.. i would not know.. Now i wont believe u..

PS: I'm not refering to all the gals, so pls dun mind me!! Sorry, dikit emosi nih..

Wuih, Good news again...

Santoso, Sudyanto, Novi M, Nelly, Evi

Our most hardworking Anita^^

Haha, Nelly looks like being bullied..^^

Tono only looking, never lend a hand lol^^

There our Boss, Saidi bring Seri n Riko to bring home the sweets!??
Wah, good news from Meriani, Robinson with the help from Meriani able to close another 2 boxes lactose, that make it 3 boxes..

Haha, he always so pesimistive, always saying something so discouraging, now finally hav some improvement.. i think he learn something again.. i'll be glad that he can learn something from this...



Haha, now story time... Today in the bus, i take down a note. The note written like this :



24 April 2007, 12.27pm

Rite now, i'm on the way to skul. As usual i'm taking bus 154. Suddenly have an urge to write down what is in my mind now. I'm missing my home so badly. So badly that how i wish to go home and lie down on my sweet bed. Goin home to tell my mom bout the story in here, telling my father that i'm so impress of him. I feel proud on him..

My tear fall down as i miss them... OMG, i cry in the bus!! SH**..



Then listening to radio 93.3, i heard a song named "Ning Xia - Liang Jing Ru". By listening this song, remind me of Yusnita(Kucing^^), a young gal i know when i was in PMVSD. Cos she likes this song very much.. Then also remind me of Maria(her best fren) which also link to her fren Martina and her sister Linda...


OIh, so many things happen while i wasn in PMVSD. Oh ya, just now also heard a song "Dong Jie - Lin Jun Jie" remind me of Lim Ya Wen(Tety) which also link to Xiao Pei(my neighbour name Desy). Now listening to "Chi Xin Jue Dui - Li Sheng jie" remind me of Niko...



Haha, now the image of whole PMVSD members flash in my mind. Oh, mis them...

I wonder how is Alek and Amir doin now? How Alek manage the PMVSD? Because of my mistake during my leasdership, should hav cause A lek a lot of efforts as well as Amir..
Thanks to them that i can lead in the whole year...
Now i think bout this year waisak. I wonder if i can go back and attend this year event or not.. Because i might be having exam during the waisak.. -_-

Hee, back to real time, i continue hearing radio using my W810.. And continue to read in the bus until reach school... Hah, still a long way to reach skul..
Hmm, very interesting... suddently feel wanna record down... Ok, gonna focus to read liao...
Mayb wait until next time hav mood to write again...

12.35pm>> feel like put down some burdens..

I ANGRY!!!

WHAT!!! I'M SO ANGRY!! TODAY, TODAY, I SO FURY... HUH, NOT THE FIRST TIME...
ALWAYS DUN PICK UP MY PHONE, NEVER REPLY OR CALL BACK EVEN KNOW I CALLED. AND ACT AS NOTHING??? STUPID OF ME TO ANGRY AGAINST A PERSON DUN KNOW I'M ANGRY.... I HAVE SO LONG NEVER FEEL SO ANGRY AGAINST A PERSON!!!
STUDID, STUPID.. I JUST CANT TAHAN ANYMORE, WAAAAH... HUH.

I'M NOT AN VERY INITIATIVE PERSON, SO IF I MAKE A FIRST MOVE MEANS I REALLY REALLY MEAN IT... HOWEVER I'M SO DISSAPPOINTED..

TODAY I'M SO DISSAPPOINTED.. SO MANY THINGS.. SAD.
PLUS AGAIN KEEP RECEIVE NEWS.. HAIS..
FINALLY JUST NOW ON THE WAY HOME, GARRY CALL ME TO INFORM ME SOME GOOD NEWS... I'M SO BLESSED TO HAV SUCH UPLINE.. HE HAD HELP ME A LOT YET I CANT DO MUCH FOR HIM YET...
HE STILL ON EXAM LER!!! GOOD LUCK YA..
(THE WORDS ALL IN CAPITAL, COS I STILL VERY EMOTIONAL!!)

Again, i didnt sleep the whole nite...

Wah, now i almost can see the sun... and i haven sleeep...
haha.. very interesting.. i just read and join a forum
http://loveselat.fr-bb.com/index.htm

This forum i like becos is from my birthplace..
I hav put in so many post,... sometimes read these kinds of post can make me laugh alone..
Really, some of them are really so lame lol
haha
anyway, wanna catch some rest b4 goin skul later,,...

Wah, time is no wait...

Dare to fail by Billy Lim

Today i wanna share one of the book that change my life...

I just search the booklists of book that i hav read, but could not find it le..

However this is one of the book that change my opinion.. This book "Dare to fail" by Billy Lim. Most ppl dare not to try becos they hav lost to their fear. As their fear win over them, they lost the opportunity or chance... So mayb sometime u feel like that, why not try to read through, it might just help u... or even u are a daring person, u can also increase your confidence from this book..

Haha, today i sleep until quite late.. After i woke up... I sat down, then thinking quietly...

I look at the receipt, wondering whether i should continuing my study or not.. Should i further my study to Degree now??

I did actually sit down and think properly what do i want currently:

1. Be a motivator

2. Finish degree

3. Build up network in Elken

My frens who dun understand me would say i done these are only for money...

Yes, i agree, however this is not the only reason and after i hav done part of the work...

i can felt i found myself in here... I think this is myself..

I can felt a lot of achievement if i can help ppl, even one person...

Most comment i got was that i'm a money minded person.. Am i?

Now i seems hav change into another person?? Hmm, mayb i just smile less,, I still can joke,.. some lame jokes...

Hahaa, quote "i am who i am", i'm still i am.. David still David, i'll never change.. Or even if i change, what change do u think ??

Haha...

It really feel good if can help a person...
Haha, currently now i'm trying to motivate another person to look up and fight for her dream..
I'm so impress bout her.. Her "wants" to improve is so high.. now i'm highly motivated to share what i hav learnt b4...

Wosh, now i cant sleep man....
I feel very fresh.... I think i hav done what i always wanted to do...
Helping ppl... Hmm, mayb i can also be a counselor lol>>^^

Hmm, i wanna be a MOTIVATOR... and i know i'll be.
For that target, i'll keep improving myself...

For that reason, i request ppl who read my blog now, pls REMIND ME if i didnt do toward this!!

ok, END this day by reading the project..

Gosh, i cant sleep properly...

Mario and Michael
Hi, I'm Michael
So Cute...
Hahaha, cute rite..

T.T early in the morning i hav to wake up...

I wonder what the cause, i just cant turn in/...

After that , i listen cassettes.. finish listen... then lie on the bed.. my mind go float again...

Back to when i just come to singapore... and how i get into SIM. And in SIM i meet who... know who.. and of course back to her... I think i have been too deeply infected by her.. My whole day can easily affected by her... She almost can control over me... !@#$%^#$%

Hais, then think bout hometown,.. how cute my nephews are.... Hee, i cant make sure who is Michael and who is Mario now... they are twin brother..

Today i will be late to school as i will take a important document to bring back. I will bring to harbour front and let them bring back...

Hee, since cant sleep, so online to write down...

Hi, focus...

Currently, i'm reading the BF lecture notes...
Hoho, who says i not tired.. i'm not made of iron ok...
However i hav things i hav to do and i hav things i like to do...

Today is meeting with the topic "marketing plan", i bring a Fren there..
And Robinson's new downline also come so i hav to take care both of them...
It is very tiring when hav new ppl, but we dun hav prepare enough..
Today a bit dissapointed with my downlines for didnt come attend meeting. But i can understand la. However Robinson & Limin keep show up despite their home is far..
I very appreciate and very motivated to teach them even more...
I think this is the destiny of every upline...


Huh, now i focus in doin BF project...
!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#
Cant concentrate le, keep thinking... hav they do? How they do?
Hmm, thinking wat she did just now... hais....(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(
this two months would be my hardest time... now is 1.31am, later i might hav to wake up at 6am..

Oh ya, i'm thinking of applying scholarship for my degree study..
However i worry cant get it.. Anyway i'll still apply it, who knows rite...
So far the best result i got just an A+..
The others are either C or D...

Ok, JUST DO IT!!
"I DO THE BEST, GOD WILL DO THE REST"

Hmmm, my mind is in blank...

Hmm, now is midnite 1.30am, i just finish bathing..

What should i do now ya, oh ya, i hav to read BF project and summarize how to do the 2nd project also..

Today not so happy, Ken ask me, why i never join them.. i replied cos they never ask wat...

I know I'm not a initiative person in some particular matter, so i always wait ppl to ask me to join. So i wont join even if i really want it.. I just cant say out... Haiz... so pk..

Huh, today i almost tell her wat i wanna say... and almost wanna shout at her...

Ihh, so pc, knn, XT, AAAH...

Hm, today i got to knew a new fren. A gal from indo also. She is very pretty^^.

Haha, it is the 1st time i meet a gal gamer, furthermore she is from indo..

She also like anime.. Very interesting, always got to meet her since sem 2(bout last year), but never got to talk, dunno how today got to msg with her..lol

Hmm, just now receive a good news from Garry, bout Sylvia, she has become a MANAGER!!!
WAAAAAAAAHH, i'm so streessed out man... I can feel that a man pride inside me is SHOUTING^^.... If my downlines ask me, i dunno how to tell them, especially Efendi, i can imagine how he will laugh at me,HUH>>!!

However still hav to congrats her lo, cos she is also very hardworking..

Huh, at first my mind cant accept it, i actually tell myself that she can close those products bcos she got relatives in here yet i dun really hav.

but now i believe what she has done is no less than wat i hav done, she must hav put in a lot of efforts for this result..

/// So one more time (clap clap clap) congrats ya Sylvia.. Sorry, busy n lazy to send sms to

congrats her.. mayb tmr will send lol..

Why?? By the end of the day, i always feel not comfortable.. dun feel very good, wanna cry out, wanna shout (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

So stress man....

tmr hav to make sure those ppl come on time, and i need to make sure that...

another thing is, the money for winner's nite...

T.T

Wonderful...

Yeah, finally hear some good news..
A good news from Robinson, he close 2 box of lactose without filing.. So great, hey keep up man(but must follow system ok^^)

Haha, today got an great experience...
I become the english meeting's MC. Woh, this is my first time.. Hee, very nervous but a great learning experience... althought it is very last minutes, i still very grateful for Garry to giv me this chance to learn.. But i dun make enough preparation, i didnt do very well. Huh, make me very eager to do it again.. Thank for Joseph's advise, now i know next time wat should i do.. and prepare...

Today in school is so boring, and i end up sitting alone again...
Wah, it is very interesting when u so busy until u dun even hav time to think,...
Hahaha... very interesting indeed..

actually i didnt know wat the lecture say about, i was so excited after hear Garry's call bout asking me be the MC while in the class..... Hmm, projects (T.T)

Tmr hav to wake up early as hav to meet group members @11am..
Hmm, last nite i slept at 5am and wake up 9am.. Hee, wake up in powerful state..

ok, time to read liao.. Today i must read through the BF lecture note to make sure i can do the 1st project... So stress...
few things that bother me so much recently are :
- School's project & lesson( haven do any revise)
- Math class, as i haven do any revise...
- SV( i lost my promise for SV 3, in SV 4 i hav to make 15000SV, i really like to go NLC)
- Huuh, everytime i see her, i lost....(dun hav much time left, left bout half year only, so wanted to tell her)
- RAN & Winner's nite attendance

"Nothing is Impossible"

Wooo, GREAT, Excellence...

Looking back at the moment, With one of the great leader, Li Xue Sheng.

From the left, Sylvia, Chris, Li Xue Sheng, Me, Meriani, Robinson..

Haha, now is morning time bout 11.18am.
I just finish sweeping, cleaning, washing, arranging...
Haha, so incredible.. I just try some technics given in the book "Master your mind and design your destiny" and Today i woke up with incredible power. Actually the technic is somehow in the NLP, i hav read it b4, but never applied, until these few days, i begin trying all the technics given. Haha, feel so good, now i'm goin in peak state with the anchor a hav create b4. That's to listen some my fav musics...

I decide to applied all the technic given. However "even the bravest warrior cant go beyong his strength". So just thinking is not enough, u cant cross over your body limit just by positive thinking.
Therefore In order to hav great mental strenght i also need to hav a great physical.
So hav to take care, really take care liao... Train, excersice./..
To keep producing excellent result...

Hahaaa.... Braving heart...

Huhaha... Another tired yet interesting day...

A lot of things to write..
Never enough time to write all., so sorry ya bout skul stuff havn write in..

Nah, today hav so many mission..
Take Garry's script from Aljunied, Take Document from Melly, go Sim lim Square find printer, handphone, memory stick, and cardreaders.。。And goin to bridging math class..-_-"
Wah, so tiredsome...
Firstlly at home very confuse, which shall i do 1st cos all are so urgent...

Wanna stay at home to read and study 1st, but who knows Garry call up and ask me to take a script from office for him...
Haiz, why am i so good??^^
After he called me, i plan where should i go..
As it will cost me for transport.. Hmm, then i decide to go Aljunied 1st(40Mins), then Bugis(3.5hours), and then go to Boon lay(Huuf, so far... ). After taken the documents, i take a bus 240, then wanna change to 154 then go to skul directly. God knows i get off too early, end up hav to run after the bus again... Haha, today run bout 2 bus stop to chase the bus... actually i sprained my foot... a bit hurt, but still can walk.. Hee, quite a long time never run like this.. Thanks god i didnt bring a lot of stuff as usual, only bring a bag and a filing, and dun wear jacket.

I planned to stop at skul, but somehow my mind wanna stop at clementi, so i dunno how i get off, and unknowingly walk in the Mc.Donald..(ggeezzz)..
So i sms Garry, ask him to collect his script for his presentation tmr, topic "Elken Spirulina".
Very impress on him as he is goin to exam(FINAL EXAM LE), still goin around..
I wonder how he manage to this, i dun think my mind can take this kind of life yet...
i need to focus..

Today final stop is in school, as usual take in the math class.. Today both Yunita and Jez didnt come to school.-_-'"..

Hmm, angry with someone as i call never pick up, and never try to reply...
Huh.... Grrrr...
Hahaahaa.. just small gas nia... hoho..

Oh ya, another matter is that, my roommate, Rinto, move to another room to sleep..
I feel so bad n sad, make me feel i very bad..T.T
Currently listening "好想对你说 - 何润东 & 张娜拉 ， 发现爱 - 林俊杰 & 金沙。。“
Haih, haha.... so wanna tell u....!@#$%^&*

OK, time to move on....
Next mission is to finish the BF 1st project, close SV 3 with 11%.
Hmm, still a lot to do.. Ok..
continue again....

Huuff, tired... yet interesting..

Huuuaaah, today i planned to study math with my fren in another fren's house..
But today i cant concentrate as i keep thinking bout Robinson's appointment..
However when i'm on the way, Robinson sms come and tell me to meet his appointment at 2.30pm. Hais, his appointment b4 is cancelled. Then this one is so last minute..
Then i ask him to change from Toa Payoh to CCK.

Yeah, gud thing is today i got to learn again, i can feel my improvement again.
The feeling is just so great.. However, i wonder if Robinson got to learn..
Hmm, how should i help him to grow ah... I keep feel he is so pesimistic..
Today, wanna congrats him to able to recuit one more member.

However, i feel so stressed as more ppl will hav more responsible on me..
Now, i feel very eager to achieve Manager(8000SV), 1stly to prove to my downline, 2nd to prove to my frens..

Haih, still quite a long way to go, 2 days left, wat should i do??
......


At this hour, where most ppl hav sleep, i stay awake... i cant sleep... missing again...
This is not a good feel.
We are being so near yet i feel so far away.. Very hurting..
Everytime, i feel wanna cry... but cant.. must not let her see..


Now my cash hav dry up..
I hav push myself at the corner...

Another matter is bout my school. Feel very stressfull in school as the project due date is so short yet so many hav to do.. Group project very stresful ah..
Furthermore i'm the leader for BF project which hav two project. Hais...
Now still hav extra class for math class... aiyo, i almost cant handle these stuffs..


Ok, nite liao..
Got to read a bit and sleep liao..

AAAhhha, today i'm mix up...

Saturday, again today is OTQM. Even it is an interesting subject but keep havin this subject can make me bored also...
An interesting for me is that Zhi Gang told me he got 2 OM textbooks for no reason from the lecturers, it make me puzzled...

Today i'm a bit suprised that Diana is come and sit with me.. But it is all rite with me..
As i wait Anqi to come, Yunita also come n sit beside me, there goes my chance to sit with Anqi..^^

Today i feel the loniless again n again,..
In the class and even after class..
After finish the class, Jez and Anqi said wanna go "jalan2", and i glad they invite me along..

We start from SIM bus stop, from there keep trying to talk with them..
But today my mouth like been sewed, i cant bring on any topic to talk with them..
We went to Orchad, n meet up with Pandi 1st and wait for Rinto..
After a while walking, we went to eat Ayam Penyet.
When finish eating, we meet up with Jemmy, Efendi, Herman, and Teddy.

Today i'm quite happy as i see them play so happily..
I wanna look very happy, but i just cant bring myself like that.
I feel terrible, i feel jealous.
I feel keep being ignored by them, even i shout they still ignore me.
HUUUUuuuuHH..!!!

I think i really addicted to her more deeply now, she can even swing my mood so easily.
Hmm, wat should i do??
Just now a lot of thing flash over my mind.. Am i really jealous??
Am i jealous with RintO?
Very strange, i always feel constrained whenever (especially) Rinto and Jemmy around.
Just now i feel very constrained when Rinto and Jemmy around, plus again with the present of Anqi, i feel more constrained. I cant being myself, i can let off and play as usual le..
AAhh, stupid of me, i should can control the feeling ma..
Hope can goin again....

Nah, i'm who i am...

Now at this moment where most ppl hav already slept, i still cant sleep..
Hmm, i think of many things..
Just now went to Aljunied as usual to attend meeting.
Sure enough, everytime i go, i'll hav some improve, i learn something.
After learn, i just need to apply now..

Hmm, 1stly i would think again bout the person i'm missing now..
I realise that my emotion can easily swayed just by her..
I hav learn bout our emotion actually can be controlled by ourself, but when i meet her, i can only say i'm not good enough to control my emotion.
This person can make my day better also can make my day worse.
What should i do? I hav told her bout my feeling, and rejected by her, yet i cant give up on her...
T.T wat can i do? How should i do??

The 2nd thing i would think is my parents. I would everyday remind myself that i living now not for me alone. For my parents who hav raised my until now, i want to do someting for them, but as i'm lazy, i keep disappointed them. Now i wanted to create something that can make them proud of me, in here, in Elken...

Now as for myself, i like to improve myself. By reading, watching or asking.
However, up until now, i know i still hav lots to do, cos i hav read so much but i haven really applied all of them.

Today i learn a word :"不怕慢，只怕站！！
means dun fear late, just fear stand...
Dun mind u come late or not, just fear u stand and never move.
If u just stand n never move your will never reach!!

Ok, time to study a bit..

Huh, i cant truly open myself

Hmmm, the very first post..
Actually i hav already post some blogs things in other places..
Now i start this blog again..
And i assure this blog gonna hav my truest information.
My true story. I always feel very sad to ppl around me cos they like to feel that i dun believe them. It is not that i dun believ them, i just cant tell u my feeling.

I found out that i hav a very terrible weakness..
No one perfect, that is true, but this mayb a very simple problem for other but not for me.
Many times, i unconsciously feel into my own world.
I can think in my own world very deeply even if my frens around me keep making sound merry around. I wanna apologize as i'm not "sengaja". everyone hav problem, and i hav mine too.
I also like to share my problems to you(frens). But i just cant talk out so easily, i keep hav a feeling that if i tell out my problems, not matter wat kind of problems, whether serious or not, they will make me a fool, make it as a JOKE, for me it is a VERY biG 侮辱。